Ooltewah, TN Trip!

These last two weeks have been SO NICE. After being in my master’s program and then spending all summer back and forth between Atlanta and Charleston, I have really enjoyed having some more free time. Last week I only had one day during the week off, but this week I have THREE DAYS off. I actually have a management meeting on Wednesday and am thinking about picking up in the ER tomorrow for some extra cash (that minivan is right around the corner, ladies!), but I may just skip both of those things and relax some more.

I also had en entire weekend off with Jon! We had booked an awesome AirBnB for Saturday night in Ooltewah, TN. It was a campsite with a lean to essentially that was located on a family farm. Unfortunately, Jon had a horrible gout attack and he ankle was huge, so he was miserable when he got here on Frida night and then barely slept. We went out to get Maple Street Biscuit Co on Saturday morning for breakfast and then decided we’d head out to Ooltewah for the day. Jon passed out as soon as we walked in the house to get ready to go since he had barely slept and then took painkillers in the morning, so we made a last minute decision to ditch our camping stuff and take my mom’s car out (mine is too small for Jon to sit in comfortably and his is a huge diesel truck so I can’t maneuver that thing). That way I could drive while Jon slept the whole way.

Guys, this AirBnB was awesome. I know it was really a campsite, but it was so awesome. We were confused about where to go when we drove in, so we chased chickens until we heard from the owners, Mike and Tara.

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We followed Tara out to our little campsite and then she sent her son out to start our fire for us. He rode out on a little tractor thing (I’m not country, it was like a farm-style golf cart, haha) with all of his friends and they all threw the wood on and started it. He looked like he was about 8 and I just feel like that is the life for a little boy!

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The area around the shelter was mulched in and it was fairly large, so Jackson had a blast just running around and entertaining himself. It was so nice to just sit there with Jon and let Jackson do his own thing. He was really into the sticks and scraping the cut down trees with his sticks. We didn’t hear a peep from him.

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Jackson had a major poop, so after cleaning him up as best as we could, I needed to go wash my hands in a real sink. We decided to grab some dinner at a local cafe that wasn’t really worth writing about. I also got extremely nauseous once we were on our way and was miserable while we were there. Gotta love pregnancy hormones.

When we came back, Mike and Tara were letting all the animals out and they had their friends over. Lots of little kids were running around with Jackson. He got to play with baby goats and watch the horses! This kid was having a blast!

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We decided to go sit by the fire for a little while before packing up our camp chairs and heading back to Atlanta. We were both kicking ourselves for not just bringing our camping stuff since Jon’s ankle was feeling better and we were having such a good time. I snuck a picture of Jackson with the pumpkins…

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And then we hung out by the fire and relaxed while Jackson entertained himself again. Had to make a stop to see the cow though!

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Our Sunday was pretty low key. Jackson has a cold and barely slept at all on Saturday (woke up at 5:45am with no nap!!! then 6:30 on Sunday! He normally sleeps until 8am!), so he had a total meltdown Sunday morning. We ran to Kohl’s to grab him a few more pants and long sleeved shirts and then played at the playground for a bit.

He tried to nap while Jon headed out to Charleston, but there was no luck! I ended up just taking him over to my brother and his girlfriend’s house so they could watch him. It’s been nice because now that Jackson is at a fun age, my brother and his girlfriend have been wanting to take him on Sunday afternoons after Jon leaves. It’s a ways out to his house, but I drop him off and then get to do my own thing before going to get him.

Yesterday I met up with Gina and Franklin and just walked around outside and got sandwiches and smoothies. It was such a beautiful day and so nice! I left around 6pm to go get Jackson and then we rushed to get in bed since we had to do baths before bed time.

This morning, I went to CrossFit for the first time in weeks. I have been wanting to get back to the gym but am somewhat unmotivated because I feel nauseous so much. But it was so good to get moving again and be active. I’m trying to get back in the swing of working out. I ran to Whole Foods after and then came home and cleaned ALL morning. My room and bathroom were such a mess and I even cleaned out the litterbox outside.

I’m about to run to get Jackson now and then I’m going to make some lentil and veggie soup! I’m hoping it’s good. I’ve been wanting savory foods lately but have been eating so bad lately. I know I need to do better about eating well, especially while pregnant, so I’m going to work on not eating so much crap (pizza and biscuits).

OB Appointment, Gym, Coffee & Biscuits

I had my OB appointment yesterday! My OB left the practice recently go to be staff at a medical college (Stanford, I think), which was a huge bummer but also sort of a relief since Jon wants me to deliver in Charleston. Because my favorite doctor is gone, I scheduled this appointment with the doctor that delivered Jackson and actually, the doctor who I had my confirming appointment with for Jackson too.

This doctor is a male, which is totally fine. He also did a fantastic job with my c-section and my OB said he always does really great c-sections. But he did my entire appointment yesterday, including the ultrasound. When the female techs did my ultrasounds last time, they always pointed to things and listened to the heartbeat. This doctor just did the ultrasound and measurements, never pointed anything out, and then played the heartbeat for about 3 seconds so he could measure how fast it was. That was it! Jon thinks he has terrible bedside manner but to me, he’s just so typical male. I actually think he’s pretty good, but I think Jon was unimpressed with him during my delivery and I was so out of it that I don’t even remember him hardly at all.

I’m 7 weeks 5 days today. The baby’s heart rate was 153. Everything looked good. The baby was such a blob. Jackson’s first ultrasound was so much cuter, but I was farther along with Jackson so he had some more definition than this baby.

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New baby on the left. Jackson on the right.

I am still a bit worried about miscarrying, but I’ll just keep hoping for a successful pregnancy and a healthy baby.

I went and had biscuits and coffee by myself after my appointment yesterday since I had some free time. It was so nice to just get out alone and relax. I’ve been so busy lately and have really been craving some down time. I even fixed my hair which never happens!

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I finally made it back to the gym today! I remember feeling really tired during my first trimester with Jackson and having a hard time working out and today was no different. I’m sure it doesn’t help that I’ve been pretty inactive for about 6 weeks. I took it pretty easy. I got so short of breath and nauseous (because I’m always nauseous) so I took a ton of breaks. I kept it easy too since I hate getting super sore if I just jump back into crazy workouts. I’m really wanting to push myself to make it to some yoga classes, so I think I’m going to write down the times and try to go at least once a week from now on. The older I get, the less flexible I am, and I know it’d help long-term to work on staying bendy.

After the gym, I met up with Gina and Franklin. Franklin is Gina’s baby. He’s about 6 weeks old now. We ate biscuits today too (Maple Street is the best!) and then took a short little walk once Franklin decided he was over our biscuit outing! As always, it’s nice to have some time during the day to relax. I was torn between a friend outing or a lazy day on the couch since I’ve been so exhausted lately, but time with Gina won.

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Anyway, back to work tomorrow and Friday. Jon is here this weekend and I’m off all weekend. My weather app is showing great weather for the weekend so we talked about camping, but I’m not sure what we’ll end up doing. I really want to go do something since I feel like we’ve been so busy with stuff lately that we haven’t really enjoyed family time. I actually found this campsite on AirBnB that’s on a farm and looks pretty awesome. They let you milk cows and I think Jackson would love that! So, maybe we’ll try that?!

Anyway, off to relax for a bit before I go pick up my boy. But in case you haven’t seen my cutie pie lately, I’ll leave you with a picture. Oh, and as a cute quick story about this kid… Last night, he ate a ton of broccoli for dinner. Today, I made him an omelet with broccoli and cheese. He spit it out and said, “I do not like broccoli!” (he’s very articulate) and I reminded him he ate it last night and liked it. He goes, “I ate broccoli last night and I liked it, but I do not like broccoli in my eggs.” Guys, two year olds are THE BEST THINGS EVER! Some weeks he really tries me and I think the other week when I was in Charleston, I spanked him like, 50 times in a day and I don’t even like to spank (pregnancy hormones, nausea, a kid who won’t nap, and lack of sleep for mom seriously had me annoyed with my little one)… But he is so fun. He is in a story telling phase and he makes things up all the time. “Grandma, ‘member when you spanked me a little bit last night?” (Grandma would never spank him, haha.) Best age ever.

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Life Updates

Woah, it’s been a LONG time again! Lots of updates…

We closed on our house in Charleston! There was a lot of back and forth towards the end with the hurricane hitting North Carolina and mandatory evacuations in Charleston, so our closing was pushed back a few times. In the end, it all worked out just fine and we closed a week late without any damage to the house! I went out to Charleston the week before last to clean up our rental townhouse and get unpacked in our new house. It was a busy trip and our house in Charleston doesn’t feel like ours yet, but I love it. I think I’m just used to living in a much smaller space. Our last townhouse was my biggest house on my own, at 1500sqft. So, our 2800sqft house just feels so big to be our home. It doesn’t seem real that we own it yet. I’m thinking once we get new furniture and hang stuff on the wall, it’ll start to feel more like home. Super glad to be in though and we live on an awesome street with amazing neighbors (one stopped walking his dog to help Jon move a HUGE armoire into our playroom!). I already met new moms with kids Jackson’s age and I’m just really excited to settle down there for awhile.

The downside of that trip was that I felt pretty awful. I’m pregnant(!!!!) so I was feeling horrible the entire time. A lot of nausea. A lot of food aversions. Extreme fatigue. No TV in either house and a toddler who refused to nap and had complete meltdowns every afternoon…

I have my first OB appointment today and I’m pretty nervous. Finding out I was pregnant this time was a lot less exciting and a lot more nerve-racking than when we found out last time. I took a pregnancy test because I notice my boob hurt when I was holding a cup against it, so I randomly took a test at 10pm one night and it was faintly positive. I’ve definitely been symptomatic lately, so I feel like the hormones must be surging, but man… I just can’t help but feel like it could all just end at any moment. So, I’m pretty emotional/nervous for my appointment today, but hopeful that this baby must be thriving if I’ve been this miserable!

I haven’t worked out in so long. I hurt my butt somehow driving back and forth in early September when my nephew was in the hospital in Florida, so I was letting it heal. I finally feel like I could work out again in regards to my butt, but then I ate so little for a week or so because of being sick. Now I’ve been eating more again, but just feel so horrible. I’m hoping next week to get back to it though, since this week is a crazy busy week with work and appointments.

Marriage is good but the same! I feel like Jon and I had a super rough start to the year and then I listened to Love and Respect and changed my perspective on our marriage and we’ve been just smooth and steady. Obviously we still argue and annoy each other (because that’s marriage), but it’s just not a big deal anymore. I’ve been so grateful for all that he does for us and the house he provided us and just what a good job he does with his role in our family… I’m going to be so excited to live together again one of these days! It’ll just be nice to be a regular family and not to be 5 hours apart!

Anyway, I better go pack a bag for Jackson! He’s coming to my OB appointment (not going to be fun) since his pediatrician appointment is this afternoon and I have a feeling if they have to do an ultrasound to see how far along I am, I won’t be able to get to his daycare before his appointment. So, gotta get toys together!

Life Updates

I swear, one day I will return to regularly scheduled blog posts. But probably not any time soon.

We close on our house on September 13th, so we are coming down to it! My free time (hah, that’s funny) has consisted of loan paperwork, insurance paperwork, power of attorneys, offers, counteroffers, emails, signing documents, submitting documents… But, I think we’re officially in the clear on our loan! Our loan was submitted to underwriting and we were just waiting on Jon’s Certificate of Eligibility since we went with a VA loan. We actually were not planning on it since we have a funding fee for VA loans, but we ended up going with a 15 year loan, so the rates were much lower for that. We actually drove by the house last night and I was peering in the door and it was open! The builders are having to fix some things we requested, so they must have been doing work. It was so fun to be back in it since we really never got a super long look at the house. I had forgotten a lot of the details and it is still just so crazy that we will own such a beautiful house. We spent quite a while looking at it and talking about what we’ll do with the rooms. I’m hoping we can go by again, since I won’t see the house again until after Jon moves us in. I’d like to have a clear idea of where everything needs to go.

I’ve also been working a ton! Since we have our entire downpayment about to leave our savings, I’ve been feeling the stress. We’re still fine, but my car has 170,000 miles on it and I can’t help but feel like we need to build up our savings as quickly as possible for any sort of emergencies. So, I’ve picked up extra shifts and am in the midst of doing evaluations on the staff, so that counts for hours too. But it’s been stressful… I essentially have 2 weeks to write the rest of my evals and review them with the staff since I’ll be in Charleston the rest of the time.

I just got in town yesterday to Charleston for our last trip to the townhouse. We have so much packing to do. The house is a mess since Jon didn’t clean it before I came and my motivation to clean is lacking because we literally have to pack everything up while I’m here… And I want to take time to enjoy my boy, since I’ve been working SO much lately.

Oh, and we went to Denver!!! I forgot all about that! I will save that for next time because it was AWESOME, but I’m going to clean up and start packing some stuff!

OB Appointment & House Buying!

Hey-o! Checking back in sooner than I usually do after a post!

I had my OB appointment today, which was scheduled as a “confirming” visit. The two women who work at the front desk have been there since I started going to my OB/GYN 14 years ago (wow! how am I so old?!) and I absolutely love them. They totally make the office. When one of them saw my reason for the visit, she kind of got excited but obviously didn’t say anything since other patients were checking in.

I was totally fine until I sat down to wait for the doctor. I knew this appointment might be difficult, but I hadn’t given it much thought since I left the ER last week since I’ve been so busy lately. It definitely hit me that I was supposed to be there to confirm my pregnancy and could have been hearing a heartbeat already. I almost cried a few times but held it back.

The OB said it was good to skip a month of trying to get pregnant so everything can get back to normal. I’m almost positive that I’m already ovulating, so I’m hoping things get back on track nicely. It worked out too since Jon is out of town this weekend so I won’t see him and I felt like I was wasting a month where we could be trying! So, the advice to wait made me feel better about “missing an opportunity.”

Although I really wish this would have just worked out this time around because now I have the worst baby fever, I also think it put into perspective how much I really am ready for another baby now. I was genuinely SO excited to find out we were pregnant and I’m not sure I was really expecting to be that excited. I’ll just keep hoping things work out for us next time around and that we are able to get pregnant again just as easily as this past time.

In other news, WE ARE BUYING A HOUSE! I absolutely love it. There are definitely some things I would change, but after seeing so many houses, I realized there will never be one house that meets every want that we have. Our house has a “sunroom,” which is really an open room off the dining room with a lot of windows. It’s nice, but I want a true sunroom or preferably, a screened in porch. There are no trees at all, so no shade in the yard. Shade is hugely important in such a hot state when you’re playing outside! We can’t even go to playgrounds that aren’t shaded during the day because the equipment is so hot that you can’t even touch it. I’m thinking about getting a landscaper to come out once we put a fence up so we can get some trees in there. The driveway is also way shorter than I would have liked. Not a huge deal, but for company, it’s nice to have somewhere to park. We also live in sort of a weird spot in the neighborhood. The neighborhood is massive and our closest entrance is through an apartment complex. The other closest entrance is through much older houses. The main entrance with a light is 8 or 9 minutes away, and the roads outside the neighborhood are busy.

But, I love the inside of the house. It’s bright. It’s brand new. It has light counters (love!) and a darker carpet (so nice with cats and kids!). It’s a 5 bedroom, 3 bathroom house so we can grow into it if we stay in Charleston. Apparently a new elementary school is supposed to open inside the neighborhood in 2021 (according to a 20 year, 4 phase district plan- the school is in the final phase of the plan and it appears that all the other phases have been completed). I love that we have a true guest bedroom and full bathroom. I love that we have an office and a flex space downstairs, plus a whole sitting area upstairs. I’m super excited to move in but also shocked that we can buy that house. I’m so grateful for Jon’s hard work at his job and for his support at mine. I would have never thought that we’d be buying such a beautiful house at 32 and 34.

We’re doing the loan process now. But we’re using the construction company’s lender and I’m annoyed because the person who I have to have a consultation with is NOT responding to me about when to schedule an appointment. I was hoping not to have to worry about it on vacation since the actual call is about an hour. Very frustrating to deal with this.

What else…? My little wee one is still having major separation anxiety. I asked a mom group how common this is since all the other little kids I see are getting dropped off with no issues. Even the kids of the stay at home moms that I know are starting their playgroups like it’s nothing. And my kid, who has always been in daycare, is freaking out. The moms in the group said they experienced this too, so I HOPE it’s coming to an end sometime soon.

I’m still working out sometimes. It’s been hard to be consistent with so much back and forth and so much work (trying to pick up extra shifts so we can furnish our house and build up our savings account again). I did make it to CrossFit twice this week and hope to make it Sunday to the gym, when I’m off. I really need to stay active to stay sane. I just feel so much better when I’m working out regularly.

I still LOVE my job. I wish I could take my job with me to Charleston. I hate that I’ll have to leave it eventually, but I’m still in no hurry.

Jon and I are taking Jackson to Denver next weekend! I’m really hoping for a successful trip with Jackson. It’s our first real family vacation, so it could be a total disaster. Most AirBnBs don’t allow little kids, so all of the ones we saw were so expensive. So we’re getting a standard hotel room. Lots of early nights for Jon and me! But there is a gym at the hotel so that’ll be nice, since I’ve been missing the gym so much. It’ll give me a few days where I will definitely be able to get a workout in.

Alright, time to go shower (again) and head out to get my boy from daycare. Hoping to make it out to the park for awhile today.

Miscarriage at Five Weeks

I’m not even sure why I blog anymore. The posts are so sparse and I never write about anything exciting.

But, I suppose I have an update this time around.

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We found out last weekend that we were pregnant! We figured we would be about 5 weeks pregnant at that point.

We told our family and friends (the close ones) and talked about giving Jackson a little “broller” or “sister” (Jackson is in favor of “brollers” only).

I went back to Atlanta to work on Friday and I noticed as soon as I got to work that I was spotting. I texted Jon but tried to ignore it throughout the day, although I still had some more bright red bleeding.

Friday night, right before shift change, I went to the bathroom and there was definitely more blood, but not super heavy. It was heavy enough that I felt like I was going to miscarry though. I was trying to hold back tears as I was getting on the elevator at work and literally burst into tears as soon as I got into my car. I cried my entire way home from work and most of the night on Friday. I spent all evening Googling bleeding in pregnancy and how much is too much and trying to figure out if there was any chance I could still be pregnant.

When I got to work on Saturday, I started bleeding even heavier. I was hoping it was just from laying down all night on Friday night, but it kept coming. I had some discomfort in my uterus, but no cramping or real pain. I was so grateful to be at work and distracted, instead of just sitting around at home. I also realized Saturday morning that there really didn’t seem to be any hope for having a successful pregnancy.

I went back and forth on whether or not I should stay in Atlanta to see my OB Monday, but decided to come back to Charleston since I was pain free and not bleeding much come Saturday night. I figured I could wait until I got back in town this Thursday to see my OB.

Of course, I forgot that my Rh factor (blood type) is negative. So after talking to my OB on Monday morning, she told me to go to the ER to get Rhogam since I need it to protect future pregnancies, and it has to be within 72 hours of miscarriage. I should have thought about that since I give Rhogam all the time to my ER patients, but I wasn’t thinking medically about my own miscarriage.

I spent five hours in the ER on Monday before I finally got my Rhogam. They did an ultrasound that didn’t show anything (which I was expecting- even my OB said nothing would show up). My HCG levels were 6.7, which is really low. At 5 weeks out, they should have been at least 18, but up to 6-7,000. I’m hoping they get back to 0 and we can start trying again soon. But, lesson learned- do NOT go out of state from your own OB if you have a negative blood type and bright red bleeding with pregnancy, because your Rhogam will cost you an ER visit.

I feel like I “got over” this pretty quickly. I’m still disappointed. I still felt a little emotional when I saw a pregnancy test at the store. I still wish I was just pregnant now. But I have always felt like I’d have a miscarriage on the second baby. Maybe because I read about so many women having them after their first baby that I just assumed I would. I felt my uterus a lot after the pregnancy test which was way different than with Jackson. My c-section scar seemed so irritated. I didn’t feel like I could believe I was actually pregnant. Something just felt off.

Physically, it was easy. It was easier than my periods, which are already really easy. I barely bled. I barely had cramping. Not what I ever expected from a miscarriage. And I was only “pregnant” for 6 days. I didn’t have time to plan or buy onesies or get that excited. I didn’t dream about the baby yet. I didn’t really feel pregnant except a little nausea a few of the days. I hadn’t even made my OB appointment to confirm pregnancy until I started bleeding. Really, I think I just knew all along that it wouldn’t work out.

It’s definitely different being the one who miscarries versus the one telling somebody they miscarried though. Even though I know it wasn’t anything I did, it’s hard not to wonder if it was that I was still drinking coffee or that I accidentally ate deli meat (because I forgot you can’t in pregnancy). Did I exercise too hard one day? But really, I know it’s unlikely. I just can’t help but think those things.

I’m hopeful that we are able to get pregnant again easily (especially since we live in different states- the timing has to align!) and that we carry the next baby to full term. I feel like I can handle one miscarriage okay. But if we have two in a row, I think it’ll be much harder to stay optimistic about this process.

Taking Toddlers to Asheville (FAIL)

Jackson and I went to Asheville this past week to visit my sister, Tonie. I envisioned a nice, relaxing trip with some hikes thrown in, a few CrossFit sessions with Tonie, and some brunch and coffee.

I almost didn’t go to Asheville since Jackson had a fever on Monday and was up quite a bit on Monday night. But by Tuesday, he seemed much better. I was still fearful of the afternoon since sick kids seem to always go downhill in the afternoon, but I decided we could snuggle and take it easy if we needed to. I had actually planned on taking him to daycare in the morning so I could finally get to the gym (we’ve been traveling, working, or sick since we got back from Japan, so my workouts have been so sporadic), but I had to keep him home since daycare sent him home the day before with a fever.

What I was not prepared for was the demon my child became in Asheville. Holy moly. Jackson is usually really good when people are around. But this time was another story!

Jackson didn’t nap on the way to Asheville and he spent at least 30 solid minutes fussing about wanting his sunglasses on his nose. He knows how to put sunglasses on, but he insisted upon putting one side on the top of his head and the other on the bottom of his chin, and then cried about how he “want them on my nose!”

We ran to the store on Tuesday night for groceries and he threw major screaming fits over absolutely nothing. He wanted to run off and do his own thing and did not want to be controlled, but he wanted to listen to me even less. But this was just the beginning, so I was doing okay still.

He wouldn’t eat dinner Tuesday. Whatever. I figured he was still sick.

Up a bunch on Tuesday night, but I slept in the same bed with him so we just woke up 50 times to readjust our snuggling position.

He slept until 9 on Wednesday. He wouldn’t eat breakfast. We decided to drive an hour to hike up on the NC/TN border. As soon as we loaded him into the backpack and got started, it started to pour. In hindsight, one of us should have checked the weather but neither of us did. Once it started thundering pretty badly, we decided to head back. Of course, Jackson wanted to continue on the “oler” way and was so upset that we had to go back. We loaded our soaking selves (well, I had a change of clothes for the little one) in the car and headed out for coffee.

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Still dry.

Sometimes Jackson is obnoxious when we’re out and doesn’t listen, but usually he settles down with some food. This time, I’m pretty sure he decided to lay in the middle of the floor no less than 20 times. This mom can handle most obnoxious behavior at home, but I cannot stand when Jackson lays on the floor in public. That and refusing to get into his carseat are the top two things that really make my patience completely fail.

We left there and decided to head to the gym. We were going on no nap, but Jackson did great last time we went to the gym at the Y there. This time, he threw the mother of all fits. I decided to leave him anyway since he always calms down. Except for this time. After 10 minutes, the childcare girl came to get me. He was so upset about being in there and took forever to calm down. He finally found some rings to play on while Mommy did a quick workout while Tonie chatted with a girl there.

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Again, no dinner that night.

On Thursday, Tonie had an appointment in the morning so my boy and I hung around the house and watched TV. It was super stormy or we probably would have gone adventuring somewhere. Jackson was being really good so I thought we were in the clear. Tonie got home a little late (right before 11) and wanted to work out again. I wasn’t too optimistic, but we headed to the gym anyway.

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Major meltdown ensued. Mom didn’t work out again. But I expected this one.

Thankfully, we got home and both fell asleep immediately for some good naps. Then Jackson ate a gigantic snack afterwards and seemed completely back to himself. Tonie and I headed out for a super late brunch at Sunny Point Cafe on the west side of Asheville.

Our meal was delicious and Jackson was surprisingly good!

Tonie had a meet up with friends that evening, so Jackson and I swept the floors at Tonie’s (his favorite) and had a great night.

We decided to go to the gym early on Friday morning before we headed out, but Jackson was crying if I even brought up him playing in the gym daycare. It was really nice out, so I called Tonie (we took separate cars so I could leave right after) and asked if we could just go hike instead.

We found a little trail up on Blue Ridge Parkway and it was so pretty. Unfortunately, the trail wasn’t great for kids. A ton of roots, steep drop offs, low hanging trees, narrow trails… Jackson wanted in and out of his backpack, to go this way or that way, to be carried or not… It was a short hike but at least we got out there.

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Then Tonie and I went into Waynesville, SC for a quick bite to eat before Jackson and I headed back to Atlanta. My boy crashed hard as soon as we left.

It’s trips like that where it is hard to be thankful for my cute little redheaded boy. No matter how much I love him, it was hard to keep on liking him on Wednesday. I think I texted Jon a million times about how I couldn’t take him anymore. He went to bed and I think I took about 30 minutes to just sit silently in the bathroom, where I could barely motivate myself to get ready for bed because I just didn’t even want to move. I was tapped out. Everything he did was just irritating me and I could just feel my stress level through the roof. I remembered my pre-child days where I could enjoy traveling or drinking coffee in peace and quiet or pay attention to adult conversation…